Here in the US children are headed back to school for the fall and I can't help but reflect on the frequency in which limiting and un-useful lessons from our early experiences in school show up as stumbling blocks in our adult leadership.
The amazing and beautiful part about our brain and nervous system is that we can LEARN and UNLEARN lessons as adults that lead us towards more freedom, ease, and success. (I want this for you).
So here are 3 lessons you may have picked up as a kid in the education system and you can let go of in this back-to-school season.
1. Learning is a bore, hard, and unfun.
When did you stop enjoying the very human experience of learning?
Was it when you were made to sit still in a hard chair at a desk?
Was it when you first felt shame for not knowing the answer?
Or maybe when you discovered that you were not, "gifted or talented" according to the assessments.
Learning, intellectual curiosity, exploration, and experimentation is a beautiful part of being human. We are allow to enjoy the process of learning and not just knowing. Letting go of educational shame has been a process in my healing journey and I HIGHLY recommend it. You would not be reading this, or the other 146 issues of Leadership Inside Out had I not.
2. Asking for help is cheating
As a leader, how many things on your to-do list do you need to delegate or ask for help with? ...be honest.
Do you feel weird or even wrong when you're asking for help?
It could be a mindset left over from school days where you didn’t want to get in trouble for "cheating".
Our nervous system is funny like that. It remembers those early concerns and makes us feel a certain way and keeps us from the collaboration and support we actually desire.
3. 'I don’t like things I am not good at'
Ask any American kid what their favorite subject is and undoubtedly it’s what they think they are good at. There's nothing wrong with enjoying what comes easy, but it limits one's identity to things that requires less effort instead of normalizing the discomfort of being a beginner or bad at something and still finding joy in it.
Are you carrying around an identity that you "don't like gym", are "bad at math", or "not creative"?
American parents tend to praise their kids for being "good at something" versus Asian parents that praise the effort and practice.
You don't need to be "good at" something in the beginning to enjoy or even to eventually succeed in it. Don't let your old identity keep you from experiencing this.
Canva Pro Image of Happy Children
School is in sessions: Your assignment is to have fun learning, ask for help, and let yourself be bad at it, all the while celebrating your effort. 👩🏽🏫
This week I've open my calendar for special WJE conversations. Grab time together if you want to talk the the details as you consider enrolling this week.
Be well,
p.s. Did you miss my recent message honoring Dolly Parton? I posted it on LinkedIN. You can also search your inbox and ⭐️ my emails to make sure they don't get lost in promotions.
